Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.

Seriously, what’s with this year? When you think you have a great thing during a bad period, it suddenly ends. When you are all happy and great, because that bad period is over, you’re body suddenly start to complain due all that shitness you had before. But when you start to think positively, and try to make the best of it, THE BLOODY FINAL EXAMS COME! aaargh! Well, good thing that when they started to start (hehe) I couldn’t care less about it! I refused to study and WHEN I wanted to study some dramz AGAIN entered my life and refused to leave my tiny little peanutbrain! The good thing about having a peanutbrain, people don’t expect a lot of you. The BAD thing, on the other hand, is that when drama is in your life, you don’t have enough room in you peebrain to store the subject u r reading and the drama. So, unfortunately, I probably failed at least 2 exams this week! CRAP! Oh well… it is disappointing but I don’t really care. I just want to go on my holiday I SOOOO MUCH deserve and start over. I long for my future summer lovers in Thailand, Mister S. E. X. Onthebeach and T. Equilasunrise! I have a lot of loves in my life and cocktails are a few of them!

No but seriously, if you look around, everybody is tired. Everybody longs for the summer to come. Everybody has the strong desire to relax and go away. I am one of those people. When I was young, I used to travel a lot with my parents and sister. We used to leave every summer for at least a month to France, Greece, Italy… During christmas and spring holiday we also left and go to my grandmother in Paris. So its pretty much safe to say, I can’t stay to long in the same country. Since my 18th I try to leave at least 3 times a year. Even if it is for just a weekend. except this year. It is now june and the last time I left was in september 2009. So after my bad period I was for like 2 weeks the old Lara again but now my desire to leave and recharge my battery has caught up on me. I need to leave. I am tired, I don’t want to do anything anymore and I tend to irritate some people. Thankfully after this week (ok, 1 day left ) I will be OFFICIALLY ON HOLIDAY!!!!!! HELL YEAH! I only have to make 2 more projects and hand them in on monday and then I can party! Well, I need to find a 2nd job coz my present job doesn’t have a lot of days I can work… But if I can’t find anything, I will just enjoy the fact that I am free and that in just 3 weeks I’m leaving to Thailand!!! wooohooooo!!!

Alright, This was my long-delayed post. I think the next one will be in the beginning of July, just before I leave for Thailand. Keep in Touch!!

Enjoy!

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.

What’s up with men? In my surrounding, I here several stories about guys that first charmed girls and after a few hours, days or weeks they dump them like old shoes! What is wrong with you guys?! Why do you do that? First of all, you NEVER dump old shoes! One day they will become vintage or retro and u will feel sorry you threw them away. Secondly, why does a guy charm a girl, make her like or even love him to dump her the next day.

Exhibit A.

When you were just dumped a few weeks before and you are now on holiday in a beautiful city with your friends and you meet this guy that you like and you have a great conversation, why does he ask if you have a relationship and he says he doesn’t either when it is a lie?! Why does he flirt with you, kisses you, calls you the prettiest, smartest girl in town? That girl falls for him, liking the idea of a rebound foreign boyfriend and when she arrives home and sends him a text message, HIS GIRLFRIEND calls her ten thousand times and makes the girl feel bad by insulting her, without even thinking about the fact that HER BOYFRIEND cheated on her! Why guys? Why lie?

Exhibit B.

A girl who had a crush on some guy gets attention of another guy, who she thinks is friendly and cute. He sends her messages, flirts with her and makes her like him a lot. When she does the biggest mistake of all by going to him while she’s drunk, he is nice to her and even the next morning he makes her feel good and takes her regrets away. Until he doesn’t call her or send a message. He is mean to her and ignores her. Why guys? Why do that?

Exhibit C.

Why lead a girl on for so many months or even years before actually saying to her that he likes/dislikes her? Is the attention so pleasant that the guy is prepared to break the girl for it? Why don’t be clear with her? Why did he say so many lovely words to her, resulting that she completely surrender herself to him.. just to be dumped the next day/week?! Why?

Exhibit D.

Why does a guy give the girl the idea that he likes her, even though she keeps standing by her standards and doesn’t surrender within a few weeks? Why does he make her feel respected and liked just to dump her the next week? Just to never answer her calls anymore?

What’s with the desire of men, to charm a girl, in whatever way, just to dump her the next day or week? What kind of satisfaction does a guy get by being so nice to a girl and ignore her calls after a few days? Even though she doesn’t call that much (I am not speaking of needy girls that call everyday once at least)? I am not speaking of relationships only, but also the first phase, the ‘courtship’ fase. Why does a guy make the girl feel al special and liked just to let her go and ignore after a while? Is it cowardness? Is it insecurities? Is it lack of respect? Is it with all men different? Are ALL men like that? I don’t know. I do know that there ARE some men staying faithful and honest to the woman/girl but can somebody tell us where they are? Are they all already married of in a relationship?

Are there any guys/men in this world that never broke a girl’s heart or won’t? That are true and honest from day 1? That are clear and don’t lead the girl on?

If you find one, treasure and keep him, because there aren’t many of them!

All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling.

You have three kinds of people:

1. the rational

2. the emo(tional)

3. the in-between

I used to be extremely emotional. Before January, I was emotional, I was an overthinker and a overanalyzer. The past three months, till april, it is pretty safe to say that I was an emotional wreck haha! over thinking was an understatement. I spun out of control everytime something happened that wasn’t in my planning. Every single teenyweeny thing that people around me said and did was overanalyzed and bla bla bla…it safe to say that for a period of three months I had the emotional level of a 8 months pregnant woman mixed with a woman in her period. Yes readers, it was baaaaaad! Don’t u think it is pretty much a miracle that i am still happy.

Anywhooooooo, I think my head was desperate to never go back to its old ways, so I made a 180 degree turn and I changed to a…you are sooooo never going to guess what I am going to say ….I changed to a rational person. So rational, it still surprises me when my friends ask me to analyze situations (like all girls do) and that I just say: girl, there is nothing to do with the situation. The only thing we can do is to be happy for that moment and we will see what the future brings. We can not invent possible situations that MIGHT happen. So some of my friends, are pretty dazed about this new change.

Anyway, right now, I am relaxed, I don’t overthink anything, unless it is at night When I want to sleep and I lay in my bed, than the thoughts come to my mind and I go back to my old ways. Something different though is that I rationalize my thoughts. I am aware from my state of mind, by that I mean that it is night (so u are always more emotional at nighttime) and I am tired (idem). So then, I go to sleep and I wake up rational again! Yay! XD

Next to the fact that I turned pretty rational, is that I communicate. I always communicate. I am (to the outside world) very extrovert (to some extent, but the majority of the people I know think that they know EVERYTHING about me because I talk a lot). Anywho, I love to talk. I also appreciate when people talk with me and tell me what is on their minds. A lot of my friends do that and I like that because then I can help them figure out what is bothering them. It annoys me, in some way, when people don’t talk to me. When something happened and I have something to do with it, and the don’t say anything. Relationship, all kinds, are based on communication, why do some people say they communicate and they don’t. I know it is hard to say things sometimes, I am a perfect example of it. It is very hard for me, to say things that I don’t appreciate to people I care about or that have an important role in a certain way. But i learned, now I dare to say things I don’t appreciate to my friends. It bothers me that some people take impulsive decisions (to me some decisions are impulsive because I don’t get the back info) or say things to me about something concerning me and expect me to understand and never talk about it. Then, I get pretty frustrated

Alright. that is that. Dear readers, men or women, boys or girls, be rational, or even try to be, it makes your life a lot easier and more fun, but don’t take your loved ones for granted, accept the fact that some of them are less rational than you, so communicate with him or her or them.

Remember that your life is very short, there is no time to be sad for to long or do things that you don’t like and that the result you don’t like either.

Enjoy!

Keia.

Keia Karbonade DC*. Born the 23rd of July 2009. The love of my life. My baby girl, my cuddle buddy, my comfort baby, my warmthe scarf, my love.

As I had, Keia went through a rough 3 months. I didn’t give her a lot of attention and love. As a result, Keia got ill. I feel terrible. Only now I realize how much I love that little bundle of fur. I want to give her all the love that she deserves. That is why, since this monday I treat her like a dog. She runs around the house, she enjoys so much our bonding time, cuddling together, she even watches tv with me, when Im on the couch and she is on the floor. I truely love that little animal!

Tomorrow she is going to meet a new friend. Lulu, like her, she is a Teddy Widder dwarf Rabbit. Lulu is white. Her mommy is Camilla. Both of us are going to bring our babies to the park and let them get to know eachother and run around. Pictures will come soon!

Here are a few pictures of my one and only, Keia Karbonade DC*.

I have the simplest taste. I am always satisfied with the best.

Hello dear readers!

I would like to take a moment and get rid of the wrong ideas people some people have about me.

First of all I would like to explain that I DO AM a walking contradiction! I used to say that I am that but I never explained the reasons. I will illustrate this thought of mine.

First of all, people have an idea of me, that I am very superficial, my only passion is clothes and I judge people only by their looks. I do have to admit that the thought they have isn’t made up. I give them every ingredient to think this. But nothing is less true.

I usually judge people’s looks when they are on tv and there is a reason for it: The show I am looking at is BO-RING! So to entertain myself I observe the looks, the decors of the show, the way people talk and so on…

I might also profile myself as a shallow person because I like fashion and clothes and it is true but my other thoughts are so much deeper! It bugs me that people think they know me by some things I say (and I know that it is my fault) but if I give people a chance to show their true self, I would like people to look at mine. My thoughts aren’t always about fashion and superficial stuff, it is even more often about culture and wanting to know more about people’s religion and way of living and interests….

Another contradiction is that I love being alone and on the other side I love being surrounded by friends. I am a very independant person. I love doing stuff by myself like shopping or sitting at home  keeping myself busy. On the other hand I love love love being with friends. Even if it just to sit together in the same room and doing our own stuff.

Another contradiction: I am terrified for everything. My sister used to say that I was even scared for my own reflection/shadow. I do am afraid and absolutely NOT naif. On the other hand I try to look for my bounderies. I love leading a hectic life with a lot to do, I would love to skydive, jump with a parachute and make loopings with a plain. I want my drivers license so I can also have my motorcycle license and drive fast on the streets and feel as if I was flying

The last contradiction is a small but funny one. I love music from Miley Cyrus and Disney Movies but I also adore metal, punkrock and other extremely loud music. I even love classical music!

See?! I am a walking contradiction!

Enjoy! XD

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

The sun is shining, the sky is bright blue, the birds are singing and I am in my room dancing on the song ‘break your heart’. I know that song is bad  and even worse for my reputation but I don’t care, i like the song and it makes me happy! I had to work yesterday (I work behind the bar of a famous club in The Hague) and even though it wasnt very busy, I had a blast! I was dancing behind the bar while serving drinks and I laught a lot with my colleagues!

I think the smile on my face is not planning on leaving any time soon. I hope nothing will ruin the feeling i have. I feel so much happiness in me that I can’t imagine feeling bad anymore. I want to do so many things! I want to sit on a couch at the beach with some fire to keep me warm and a glass of white wine! I want to party all night long with my friends! I want to spread the joy I feel inside! I am enjoying my freedom in everything I do! Nobody can tell me what to do!

Next to the fact that I am so so happy about everything, I just got another reason to be happy! I passed a very difficult test that I had to pass for my ‘Propedeuse’. So now, I have to wait for the last grade for me to actually GET my P!

I already planned to go party tonight with my greatest friends, but now the night is going to get a whole other dimension! I haven’t been to Paard as a customer in ages, I think the last time was in November 2009? And till that time I went EVERY week on thursday. So tonight, my friends and I are going to let everything go and have an extremely good time!

So my dear readers, if you missed seeing the happy jolly crazy Lara, come tonight to Paard van Troje and you will be able to see her till around 3 am

Enjoy the Spring!!!!

Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them, they will forgive us everything, even our intellects.

Alright, it’s past midnight and I have been laying in bed for an hour just to try to sleep. Instead of sleeping, a good friend of mine, called Insomnia, came by. So I started thinking: I wrote posted a column this weekend, about my ending of drama. But the end of this drama also came with the help of so many people around me! That is why I would like to thank them, by writing everything they did for me individually.

Thank you for stepping on the break when I was going out of my mind

Thank you for reassuring me when I was uncertain

Thank you for your patience

Thank you for listening to me when I was wining

Thank you for keeping up with me

Thank you for giving me confidence in my doing and being

Thank you for cheering me up when I needed it the most

Thank you for believing in me

Thank you for motivating me

Thank you for making me laugh

Thank you for all the good things you gave me

Thank you for not paying attention to my problems but just having fun

Thank you for picking me up when I asked you

Thank you for offering bottles of wine

Thank you for staying my friend

Thank you for not disowning me

Thank you for your (till now) undying love

Thank you for all the things you didn’t have to do

Thank you for accepting the way I was, even though I didn’t.

I also want to say to you, dear readers, that I have had some bad periods in my life. But none of these were as life changing as the past three months. Ever since I woke up last week (figuratively speaking) I realized. I have been saying for decades that I want to jump with a parachute, or do extreme action fun things! And I never did. Never had the money or the priorities were on something else. That is why, ok some people are going to say I’m nuts, I am probably! Alright, and a big sacrifice will have to be made… I am putting my idea for my tattoo on hold. Yes, I have been wanting this tattoo for more than a year and yes I have been saving for it. But I decided that life is too short to put the things on hold you wanted to do for many years. That tattoo I will always want it, and I will always be able to get it done, but jumping of airplanes, riding on many rollercoasters, making loopings with an airplane not.

I will keep you in touch when I reached a few of my goals! But first, I need to get some sleep!

Here is a list of all the things I will do this year, in chronological order:

1. party like there is no tomorrow
2. Go on a rollercoaster like Goliath
3. go to a sauna a whole day and get a massage
4. remodel my home
5. go to Thailand and relax
6. go to lowlands
7. buy an apple Macbook
8. jump of an airplane
9. (if it’s still possible because of the weather) stunt flying.

For now, Just sleep. Take care dear readers and live everyday like it was the best day ever!

Enjoy!